Spearmint Rhino. This ultra-swanky outpost of the global cabaret chain looks like the kind of place a Bond villain could call home. If you’ve never been to a strip club before, this one will ruin your expectations for almost every other place in the country. Their strictly-no-touching policy makes for a non-threatening environment for first-timers. (It’s also a great way to talk the bride into letting the groom out for the night… “I promise, he won’t be able to touch anything!”). Spearmint Rhino, 3344 S Highland Dr, Las Vegas, 89109. (702) 796-3600
Sapphire. For a little action that’s notorious among the locals, head over to Sapphire. Run by the same team that operates the Olympic Garden, it’s a cliché-busting behemoth. At 71,000 square feet, it’s the world’s largest strip club, guaranteed to please everyone in your group. There’s a massive stage right in the middle of it all. That way, no matter where you are, you’re never more than a glance away from the action. Call ahead to reserve one of the thirteen VIP Rooms, which suspend up to twelve guests over the dance floor. You’ll even get your own personal butler for the bachelor party of your dreams. Sapphire Gentlemen’s Club. 3025 Industrial Rd. 702-796-6000.