Why should your honeymoon suite get to have all the fun? Let your bride unleash her naughty side for some wild adventures. Just remember to stay observant and keep an eye out for the cops.
#1: Join the mile high club. So many people have had sex on airplanes that we’ve got a name for it. Savvy travelers know that the cramped airplane lavatory isn’t the right place for a quick shag. Spring for first class seats, especially on an international flight, and stimulate each other under a cozy travel blanket. Newer planes feature seats that fully recline into flat beds – perfect for a little marital nookie. Just keep the moans to a minimum if the passengers around you aren’t absorbed in the in-flight movie.
#2: Redefine “service” at a fancy restaurant. Book yourself a secluded table at a very fancy, “white tablecloth” establishment. In between the appetizer and the opening course, drop a utensil for a quick excuse to dive under the table. Using the thick, white fabric as camouflage, you can perform all kinds of tricks to your blushing bride.
#3: Get schooled. Relive your wildest college fantasies by paying a visit to your alma mater. University campuses are ripe with secluded areas for you and your bride to play around in, and most schools let alumni roam the grounds unattended. See what you both can learn during a quickie in the back of a lecture hall – sleepy underclassmen barely pay attention to their professor, let alone the two of you. Other low traffic areas, like library stacks or dorm laundry rooms, make great sites for collegiate quickies.
#4: Prices aren’t the only things going down at the mall. Avoid dressing areas and open spaces, unless you want horny security guards watching you on closed circuit television. Instead, dive down a corridor that’s marked “Mall Personnel Only” and live out your most sordid shopgirl fantasies. Just remember that your bride may demand a present after.