Is this conversation really necessary? Yes. The only thing that couples tend to fight more often about than money is sex. If you both have been good little kids and saved yourself for your wedding night, then it’s critical for you talk about your desires and your passions. That way, neither of you is in for a nasty surprise in the honeymoon suite. If you’re both inexperienced, you can start to talk about your expectations for your married love lives. Preparing for awkward moments in bed together can keep your sex fun and lighthearted.
Do it in broad daylight. Right before or after sex are the two worst possible moments to talk about it. This isn’t football. Nobody needs a pre-game warm up or a post-game analysis. Instead, set aside a private time during the day, like a breakfast or a lunch. Open up to her warmly, and tell her that you want to start talking about your mutual expectations, hopes, and fears about sex. If she’s a little embarrassed, that’s fine. You can at least let her know that you’re thinking about the topic, and that you want to set a time to talk more about it when she’s ready. Just have your talk at least the day before you plan to have sex, or your heads and your bodies will refuse to cooperate.
Get on the same page and remember who you’re dealing with. Some guys tend to ignore or forget that their brides had lives before they came along. If there’s a particular sexual activity that your bride picked up from one of her previous relationships, there’s nothing wrong with calling plays from the losing team’s book. Remember that she’s with you because of who you are, and together you can cook up some winning moves of your own. Whatever you do, don’t get shy or embarrassed or jealous about discussing what she did with other guys – just change the names to protect the innocent. Likewise, don’t brag about your own sexual exploits – just suggest things that you may have done to please the women in your past that won’t get to enjoy your talents in the future.